synopsis: If I said that it was a steaming file of rotten anus, I would probably be being too kind.

Some part of me nearly wanted to vote for the "great effects, shit plot" option, but I couldn't do it. I mean, sure.. some of the effects are quite a technical achievement, but I felt that voting for that option wouldn't properly convey my feelings about this movie. While the effects are technically solid, I felt that even their application was somewhat lacking.

The "plot" was a joke. It is full of things that high school students or first year uni philosophy students would call "deep thoughts" - so my first warning to you is to beware of anyone that comes out with a phrase like "you didn't like it because you were too stupid to understand it". (yes, I've had that thrown at me) The new stuff that got added in this movie is all very random and contrived. I'm avoiding giving away spoilers here because even though I hated the movie I also hate people that ruin movies for others - so I'll just say this (and you'll understand when you watch the movie): Doors? What - The - Fuck?

From a plot perspective, we know from the end of the original movie that Neo is "The One" (although we don't know what that really means) and that he has the power to alter the Matrix. The first thing that pops to mind then is the question: Why the fuck does he have to kung-fu fight people still, then? Shouldn't he be able to wiggle his nose or click his fingers and turn them into frogs? Apparently not. It seems that the job of The One is to get involved in over choreographed and uninspired kung fu fight sequences. While they may include a few new takes on the whole matrix-slowmo-effect during their execution, they really are nothing that we have not seen before a zillion times over before.

In the end, I guess all these problems stem from a single major flaw - this film suffers greatly from the Sequel Effect. In making Reloaded, they had to take a homogeneous story (the first film) and try and weave new Things into it, while also trying to make everything else Bigger and Better. It couldn't just be Matrix 2, it had to be Matrix: More! Bigger! Badder! Louder! and in making it so the appeal of the original film was lost. We didn't like The Matrix because it was a deeply philosophical essay on existentialism that would put Descartes to shame (and if anyone tells you otherwise then they are most likely a member of the above-mentioned highschool or first year philosophy student group) but because it was a good action movie. It had a plot that wasn't overly complex, but consistant enough to drive the narrative through from beginning to end and interesting enough to fill the gaps between decent action sequences and images of shit blowing up. Reloaded tries to do too many things, and succeeds at none of them.

Hmmm ... Matrix Reloaded. I had to chose the effects kewl/plot choad option, even though I don't quite agree with it 100%.

Okay, the fu was awesome! The Wachowski brothers have moved the Hong Kong fight sequence nicely into the Hollywood world. Unlike some films recently (X-men 2 *grumble*), the fight scenes are shot in a way that the action is easy to follow and coherent. Some of the scenes seemed a little "look what we can do". But that's not so bad either.

Plotwise, well, it's a little thin on the ground. And at this point, it's hard to go on without putting in spoilers, so I won't (or at least try not to). Ultimately, it's a sci-fi/action film and people who read deep philosophical meaning into it need to go and see wanky arts films about Gay Cowboys Eating Pudding or something.

What was one of the really cool bits was the little asian firewall. "I protect important programs". It'll make sense if you go see it. The blonde-dreadlocked-english-fu-twins were really nicely used ... and I think that the re-emergence of the cut-throat razor as a weapon of choice is upon us!!

Ultimately, I enjoyed it; how can you not when Carrie Ann-Moss nudes up?

It's an action/sci-fi flick with some kewl ideas (the doors were a very funny and good concept :P). It's nicely executed visually, the philosophy stuff is first year uni crap, and is used just enough NOT to overburden the story with long winded conversations and explanations. Shit blows up and people beat the crap outta each other.

Anyone expecting more than that should see the aforementioned film and stuff.

To finish, some more PVP action ... sums it up nicely.
http://www.pvponline.com/archive.php3?archive=20030514

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Marquis of Most Every Lampshade, Rat Aslan Boy, The Insatiable
Agent of Kissing Ass, Señor Rat Luftwaffe Boy
Über-Maharaja of Violent Nausea, Rat Boy

This post comes very late in the piece for good reason. I've only just seen the anime classic Ghost In The Shell (1998) for the first time in it's entirety. I recommend everyone to see it if you haven't already. The parallels between the Matrix storyline are a little too similar. From the code streams to the physical similarity between Major Kusunagi and Trinity/Neo, it seems that the Matrix 'plot' borrowed from GITS in a very major way.

That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed the Matrix/Matrix Reloaded films. I have - they're both visually exciting. Being a huge comic fan I've loved the storyboard look and the color contrasts and the general feel of the films. Personally I don't feel that any talk of valid plot lines should go by without mentioning Ghost. :)

I still haven't seen it. Hopefully soon.